Energizer Bunny Beats Taco Bell Dog to Death
By Active Imagination, BO Staff Writer
SOUTH OF THE BORDER -- The Energizer Bunny fatally attacked the Taco Bell Dog then fled the scene earlier today, witnesses said. The Dog was just walking down the street, not bothering anyone, when the Bunny jumped out from behind a fire hydrant and began beating the Dog. After a flurry of blows to the Dog's head, the Bunny raced away in a R/C car. The Dog was taken to the world-renown Dr. Ventura, brother of the famous wrestler. The Dog died en-route.
An international bunny-hunt is already in progress according to Louis Fedders, Chief of Rent-A-Cop, Intl. "This is a tragedy beyond proportions," he said. "It is inconceivable that such violence could occur on our streets in this day and age. Warn your daughters: There is a mad-bunny on the loose. A murder. A rapist. A cereal killer. A terrorist. A traitor. An inside trader. Another Martha Stewardess in the making! Run! Hide! Lock up your linens! And, for God sakes, give me a breath mint!!!"
PETA was quick to jump on this one. "We will not stand by and let the rights of our innocent-until-proven-guilty comrade [the Bunny] be usurped by the so-called authorities," said Dr. Diego, director of People for the Ethical Treatment of Assholes. "We have the right to bash anyone until proven in a court of law."
The President deftly sidestepped the whole sensitive issue by claiming that the phrases "Taste Great" and "Less Filling" are actually codes for "Peanut Butter" and "Jelly." At that point, no less than a dozen reporters offered the President a breath mint.
Posted on October 5, 2005 at 6:32 am
|
My Son's Broken Nose
My son broke his nose this past Sunday. He was playing baseball. He and another kid were running to catch the same ball. No one called it. SLAM! My son got a broken, bloody nose and a concussion. He was taken to a hospital in an ambulance with lights and sirens.
He developed a ***HORRIBLE*** headache. They couldn't given him anything strong for the pain until the CT results were OK. He was in such pain. He flailed about at times.
Tomorrow (Friday) he is having minor surgery because the nose is out of whack. He turns 15 in 8 days and he has never had surgery before. I know he is really scared, but he's not showing it. I am going to be there with him tomorrow.
Aside: I'm also going to be there for my wife. She's a typical mother and this has been really hard for her.
Posted on June 30, 2005 at 2:58 pm
|
The New Job
I'm settling in to my new job as a Java web application programmer. It has been about a month since I started and I'm still getting a little nervous everyday. I do know that I'm starting to get comfortable because I caught myself absentmindedly digging for gold in my schnoz twice this week.
It is a different world than food service. I'm not used to working on my own all day long. Somedays I don't talk to anyone about the project at all. In food service, I would get constant feedback all day long. In my new job, I have yet to receive any "serious, critical feedback." Maybe they just trust me.
It is a full-time job and my weekdays are long. I get home 11+ hours after I leave for work. Combine that with the time needed for breakfast, dinner, shower, dressing, etc. and I don't have much free time during the week. I don't really like having the weekends off; stores and movie theaters are too busy.
I'm finally getting to do what I wanted to do for so many years: Computer Programming. It was that damn depression that got in my way. It wasn't until I started taking medication that therapy had any effect. I'm still getting both now, although the therapy is less frequent. I will need to stay on meds for the rest of my life.
When I was still in the grips of depression, I said that I'd rather be dead than take medication. Now I can look back on that and see that it was the depression talking, not the real me. Only by staying on meds and in therapy, I have been able to gain things that I had only dreamt about, such as my wife, my son, and my new job. It has been a slow, hard process. But I stuck with it and my life is only getter better.
Posted on June 25, 2005 at 8:46 am
|
One Week Down, Many To Go
I've just finished my first week at my new job. I no longer work in food service. Now I'm a computer programmer for the Developmental Disabilities Administration, Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, State of Maryland. And I am tired. I used to go to bed around 2 or 3 AM. Now I get up at 5 AM. It is going to take a (little?) while for me to get used to this schedule. I'll post more when I'm not so tired.
Posted on May 24, 2005 at 3:59 pm
|
There Is A Saying...
In Food Service, there is a saying that once you've worked at a place, you'll never eat there again.
Over the past few months, I've been toying with the idea of writing a few blog entries along the lines of "What You Should Know Before You Go Out To Eat". I don't know if it would be a good idea; I don't want to get people needlessly upset or worried. On the other hand, I like to educate people. So, it was put on the back burner.
Well, I just finished what I hope will be the last day I ever work in Food Service. I am again wondering about writing those blog entries. Before I do, is there any interest? Please reply in the comments.
Posted on May 14, 2005 at 11:10 pm
|
| Browse Archives: 22 Entries |
 - 1 2 3 4 5 -  |
|
|
|
 |
|
| |
| Reviews: |
• IMG: A Very Good Deal
2/15/2005
|
| |
| System Details: |
OS: 10.5
Processor: Intel
CPU Speed: 2.0 - 2.9 GHz
Memory: 2 GB
DVD: SuperDrive
Details: 20-inch iMac (April 2008) |
| |
| IMG Participation: |
| User Reviews: 0 |
| Polls Voted: 16 |
| |
| Blog Stats: |
| Entries: 22 |
| Reviews: 1 |
| Comments: 36 |
| Visits: 42910 |
| |
|
