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[Free] Keep an eye - challenge all your skills


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#1 OFz

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 03:30 AM

Don't let it bounce around and get too dirty because that would be gross, and eyes are delicate.
It's engaging, entertaining, difficult, and probably much nicer than throwing a real eye around.

FEATURES
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Video: https://www.youtube....h?v=vqNwVYWRx4E

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Download https://itunes.apple...1101969523?mt=8

Other Platform, if you need it
Android: https://play.google....oybox.keepaneye
WP: https://www.microsof...ye/9nblggh4nttb

#2 the Battle Cat

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 09:16 AM

This is why you should never ever let your eye out to play unattended.  After watching that vid I've finally convinced my eye that he is much better off playing around in his custom fitted socket than running loose in the eye apocalypse.
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#3 DirtyHarry50

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 12:50 PM

Yes, and be sure you don't let your eye wander onto Facebook either. It's not good for your eyes.
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” — Bertrand Russell

#4 the Battle Cat

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 02:56 PM

This brings up the whole subject of eye health, and gives me an opportunity to address the forum about this public concern.  Take good care of your eyes people, I may need them later.  Also your kidneys, and especially your liver, baby that liver cause I'm coming for it when the one I'm using now becomes another whiskey pickle.
Gary Simmons
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#5 DirtyHarry50

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Posted 19 April 2016 - 07:23 PM

Sorry, I already told my sister to torch me in the fire pit at her farm. I'm not paying Digger O'Dell to bury me or burn me up for that matter. She was fine with the idea and told me they'd have a family gathering, cookout, etc. to celebrate my passing. I'm sure she meant to celebrate my life but close enough, at least I hope that's what she meant.
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” — Bertrand Russell

#6 the Battle Cat

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Posted 24 April 2016 - 07:10 PM

Conversation around your daughter's dinner table:

Gah, what is this steak?  Mountain goat?  Cape Buffalo?  It's tough and stringy and full of gristle!

Quiet Jr, you'll be eating grandpa for the next month so get used to it.

Aw Ma, it tastes like wormy hog snout... can't we give it to the dogs?

You know the dogs won't touch it, besides, he owed us money and we're getting SOME return on our investment from that cheap old bastard.
Gary Simmons
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#7 DirtyHarry50

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 10:10 AM

LOL!

The folks at the table will be delighted by the tasty morsels before them which have been thoroughly tenderized by repeated beatings and then marinated very slowly for many years with only the finest blend of carefully chosen alcoholic beverages. I am also pre-seasoned with the finest of herbs although the addition of some fresh ones at this point would probably be a good idea. To ensure optimal results they never take me anywhere so I remain within the confines of my humble abode lest I move around too much and become tough. Can't have that now, can we?

They know what shape I am in and as such it is something of a miracle they have not come in the night to slaughter me and pack up all the goodness in the freezer, this of course after the initial meal is prepared and consumed. I'm sure they'll just toss the rest in the reefer and package up that various select cuts remaining for future culinary goodness after dinner.

I'll append a little note to my will which is a text file on my iMac that I forward to my sister if anything changes. So far it simply indicates my wish that the kids split my stuff, my sister takes in my birds and now it will also feature instructions to visit here, contact one Battle Cat and make arrangements to ship my frozen eyes carefully packaged within a small cardboard box that is then placed in a styrofoam box along with sufficient dry ice for the trip. I'd recommend UPS or FedEx 2 day delivery by the way which you will need to pay for since there is very little chance I'll be leaving any money behind. Oh, and be careful with the lenses. Make sure you spit those out but I guess being a cat you already know about such things as this. The only reason I know about it is one of my uncles is Greek and apparently Greek people like fish eyes or so he's told me. He certainly likes them and told me how great they are but you want to make sure you spit out the lens. I went along with him about this stuff while secretly being damned glad we were not anywhere near a place with fish and their eyes. I don't know which I would dislike more, eating them myself or watching him eat them. Either way would be ugly but then I am neither a cat nor a Greek so I guess that is why, well that and my uncle is ugly to begin with but I will deny saying that!
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” — Bertrand Russell

#8 the Battle Cat

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 02:29 PM

Fun Fact:  If you drown at sea the deep sea crabs will eat your face.

Viet Cong ate fish heads and rice, carried them in a leaf bag in his kit.  It looked and smelled totally disgusting.  Like raiding a garbage can that's been out in the sun.  Made C rations look like dinner in a 5 star restaurant.  I'll still gladly take your eyes, I want to mount them on little springs and make a deeley bopper out of them.

And in other farm news, my uncle had a farm where he raised crops and a small number of cattle.  Small enough that a number that my aunt and cousins named them all.  Every now and then they'd butcher one of them and store them in a big freezer.  I got a tour one time and my aunt named at least 4 different steers laying frozen and wrapped in freezer paper.  At dinner time it was common to hear one of them ask who they were eating tonight.  It made for very bizarre conversations.
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#9 DirtyHarry50

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Posted 25 April 2016 - 06:59 PM

That's a riot! I had three steers as a kid who were all freezer bound from day one. Considering how one of them literally kicked inexperienced me right through a railing fence it was a very satisfying experience to dine on him repeatedly. That bugger tasted pretty darned good too despite his bad attitude.

My sister has a beautiful farm that is like a small zoo with so many different animals there including big white geese and ducks with their own pond out behind the barn. I really enjoy time spent out in the country at her place. It's just so peaceful there hanging out with the horses and rest of the crew. There is one huge sheep named Finn who I am friends with and who comes to see me every time I go there. He likes to head butt so I play this game with him where I press hard on his head and he butts my hand over and over while in between times I am rubbing his face, etc. He just sucks that up like a sponge. It's a strange connection old Finn and I have but we like each other. When he was born he was not breathing and my sister saved his life with CPR. True story! Thank goodness she knew what to do or Finn and I would not be having the fun we do together when I visit.

I got into all the farm stuff because my sister told me the other day, she's getting some cows which I think means she is really getting some steers although knowing her she may wind up with both anyway. She told me she was just getting two within her husband's hearing. I started laughing because I know that's BS. She tries to break him in slowly about new arrivals as she's been doing since the first horse nearly 20 years ago now. He's a good guy who supports her love for her horses and farm and stuff even though its not his thing at all. He'll complain about the expense and stuff but still go along for the ride and he'll be out there fencing, fixing stalls or whatever else he wants. Any guy that loves my sister like that is good with me. I love my sister too but I think that guy loves her more because she wouldn't have me out there fixing fences and all the work she sets him to.

By the way, that steer I hated, his name was Ferdinand - tasty, tasty Ferdinand. In the end it turned out that I wound up liking him quite a lot, on my dinner plate that is.
“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.” — Bertrand Russell