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DaveyJJ... your worst fears realized.


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#1 the Battle Cat

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:42 PM

No, YOUR fears, not his.  DaveyJJ is now a forum moderator and woe be to the unlucky gob of spit to cross his path.  I picked him because he is great in a bar fight, can bench 400lbs, and all his friends are either rednecks or Vulcans. Now would be a good time to start sucking up to him, last I saw he had a clipboard and was taking names.  

Never hire someone you ain't got sumptin' on, and Davey is no exception.  If he gets out of line and starts taking it easy on you punks, I post the pictures.  Fair warning to both Davey... and you, cause man, you really don't want to see something you can't unsee, and these will be seared onto the inside of your retinas like a Hiroshima sidewalk grease shadow.

So, the game is afoot.  May God have mercy on your souls.
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#2 Thain Esh Kelch

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:45 PM

Why do I have the suspicion that this thread will at some point lead into a discussion on nazi porn stashes?
"They're everywhere!" -And now, time for some Legend of Zelda.

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#3 DaveyJJ

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 03:56 PM

Ban hammer! Ban hammer! Ban hammer!

Nazis were mentioned!

Err, too much, too soon?

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#4 Frost

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 06:27 PM

Excellent! Now I can slack off more, and cast a wider net of blame when a spammer gets through.

Oops, did I type that out loud?













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#5 Frigidman™

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 06:29 PM

Guess its time I friend him then huh...

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#6 dojoboy

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 07:34 PM

No more "tBC is the greatest!" for me! Now, one of you villeins change that to "DJJ is the greatest!" for me before my sergeant comes for you miserable lot. Snap, snap! I'm off to collect the wenches for my private minstrel show. Fair thee well!
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#7 DaveyJJ

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 09:47 PM

dojoboy and I are now meeting in a beer hall in Munich watching racy movies and planning the putsch! It has begun, as Thain predicted! Mwa-ha-ha!

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"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." -- Terry Pratchett
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." -- Jean Cocteau


#8 the Battle Cat

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Posted 01 December 2013 - 09:48 PM

View PostDaveyJJ, on 01 December 2013 - 03:56 PM, said:

Ban hammer! Ban hammer! Ban hammer!

Nazis were mentioned!

Err, too much, too soon?

No, you pretty well nailed it.  Certain powers-that-be at IMG wish to hide our rich NAZI heritage from the general public.  In general though: good response time, appropriate punishment, just lacks humiliating the subject (preferably in front of a girl).  You're new, you'll catch on after you have a few scalps on your belt.  And please refer to the pamphlet Human Resources gave you for the list of all 7,241 forbidden words.

View Postdojoboy, on 01 December 2013 - 07:34 PM, said:

No more "tBC is the greatest!" for me! Now, one of you villeins change that to "DJJ is the greatest!" for me before my sergeant comes for you miserable lot. Snap, snap! I'm off to collect the wenches for my private minstrel show. Fair thee well!

Wow, what a suck up.   I'm not even angry, dojoboy, I always say that if one loves something then set it free.  If it doesn't come back then hunt it down and kill it.
Gary Simmons
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#9 Sneaky Snake

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 10:15 AM

I yield to our newest overlord. May his beard grow long and thick, and may he be blessed with many teraflops of power.
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#10 the Battle Cat

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 01:36 PM

DaveyJJ, make an example out of this minion as a warning to others that the something something he just did is entirely unacceptable. (You need practice trumping stuff up, just make something up, that's what all the moderators do.)
Gary Simmons
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#11 DaveyJJ

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 07:12 PM

It is done! For his ... umm, hmm, ah! ... shameful use of the forbidden word that only moderators can say, "beard", he has been punished terribly and with great gusto.

My first act of obsessive, uncontrolled power! For the next 24 hours, Sneaky Snake is now officially "Litter Box Scooper".

And thou shalt beware my terrible wrath and sizeable teraflop!!!

:huh:

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"Not my circus, not my monkeys." -- Polish folk saying
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." -- Terry Pratchett
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." -- Jean Cocteau


#12 the Battle Cat

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 07:58 PM

Careful where you're floppin' that thing now,  I'm trying to eat kielbasa.  Good work by the way, remember you have his Agonizer too.
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#13 Sneaky Snake

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 09:10 PM

:help:
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#14 the Battle Cat

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 09:34 PM

It makes me angry when they cry out for help.  It should make you angry too DaveyJJ.
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#15 Sneaky Snake

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 10:51 PM

Don't give in DaveyJJ! Don't give in to anger! Think of us lowly plebs who need a kind and merciful master!

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#16 DaveyJJ

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Posted 04 December 2013 - 05:43 AM

There's no anger ... a giddy drunkenness of power and a sarcastic little laugh at your predicament. Far more subtle machinations are at play here than most can even comprehend. We are all being tested in our own way, though I've already said too much. I will press the big red button.

You will be made whole again at 8:12 this evening. Grovelling will only make it worse.

:nods:

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"Not my circus, not my monkeys." -- Polish folk saying
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." -- Terry Pratchett
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." -- Jean Cocteau


#17 the Battle Cat

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Posted 04 December 2013 - 10:17 AM

Wow.  24 hours of Agonizer.  I... I... I want you to sit with me at the Captain's table tonight DaveyJJ.  You are distinguishing yourself early in your career, I see great things in your future.  Yes, great things.  We must talk.

Meanwhile I have Sneaky Snake ready to be put into stasis by freezing him in beer should he expire.  We'll just keep him frozen until medical science can find a cure.  That or we run out of beer in the break room.
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#18 DaveyJJ

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Posted 04 December 2013 - 06:41 PM

I am now showing you how much mercy I have. I am releasing the red button and restoring "Snake Plissken" to his rightful place, now suitably terrified of our unabashed powers, a whole 32 minutes early. Because I don't want to interrupt my nap to do that later.

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"Not my circus, not my monkeys." -- Polish folk saying
"In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this." -- Terry Pratchett
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul." -- Jean Cocteau


#19 the Battle Cat

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Posted 04 December 2013 - 07:30 PM

Spoken like a cat!  I should fire all other moderators and hire on cats.  You are aloof, heartlessly cruel, you torment your prey, and you value naps.  These reflect my core values!
Gary Simmons
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#20 Frost

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Posted 07 December 2013 - 02:29 AM

Hey. I've been on Snake's bribe list for like 10 months now. Don't frak with him too much or I'll have to actually work to earn the cash. You do NOT want to know what happens if I have to stop playing Choplifter HD on my SHIELD in the break room.
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Eric5h5:
When there's a multiplayer version, I'm going to be on Frost's team. Well, except he doesn't seem to actually need a team...I mean, what's the point? "Hey look, it's Frost and His Merry Gang of Useless Hangers-On!" Or something.