[Bernie]

15-AUG-2009
Imaginary Mental Grove, Calgary
by Staff

Kraft FUDs proudly announces the arrival of the next generation in processed cheese products: Multi-Core Velveeta. Made using the same technology behind Intel’s swiss cheese, Multi-Core Velveeta now has a variety of holes allowing a virtually unlimited array of options to processed cheese product consumers everywhere.

Last year’s much-hyped Kraft-Intel alliance may have crumbled like a block of bleu cheese; nevertheless, there was a significant sharing of technological assets. Kraft’s Multi-Core Velveeta is the first fruit of the labor. Intel is expected to announce a Velveeta-based processor next week. It will ship in bulk just in time to take the holiday season market by storm. “Surprised” will be the new buzz-word for every child the morning of this Christmas.

[the Battle Cat]

Ooooo Kraft Velveeta packed with gummy worms!!

- Now Junior, eat your cheese
- Aw ma, I hate cheese!
- But this cheese is crawling with worms!
- WOW! No foolin'? Slice some off for me!

Yes moms, you can finally make cheese disgusting enough for kids to enjoy!

[Quicksilver]

[Bernie]

In response to yesterday's Multi-Core Velveeta announcement, Bryan Clodfelter, the IMG Senior Hardware Editor, had this to say:

Quicksilver, on August 15th 2009, 04:29 PM, said:

We're hoping for a feature-length article from him when review samples arrive at the IMG Hardware Labs.