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Lord Brixton the Simply Awful


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#1 the Battle Cat

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 07:58 AM

You will all be relieved to know that Tesseract is no longer moderating for the time being.  Lord Brixton the Horrible has been chosen to replace him.  I know I know, you are probably asking yourself right now, "When will tyranny end?  Why must we suffer this oppression?"   Well since you were last tormented horribly by him, Lord Brixton has been undergoing intensive sensitivity training by burley, hairy-legged lesbians and we are all very proud of his progress.  He is now known as Lord Brixton the Simply Awful by those he now merely annoys.

We tested him with some flies.  In the old days he used to pull the wings off of flies then burn them in the sun with a magnifying glass.  Now, he will take a group of flies to see the Ben Affleck movie Gigli and talk about it with them endlessly.  We try to think of this as an improvement and we hope that you can find it within your hearts to see it that way too.
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#2 Janichsan

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 08:43 AM

View Postthe Battle Cat, on August 28th 2008, 03:58 PM, said:

...the Ben Affleck movie Gigli and talk about it with them endlessly.
Oh, God, no! NO! NOOOOO!!!! :bleedingeyes:

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#3 teflon

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 09:20 AM

Well finally!

Now then, lets get going with round 2 of British Imperialism and global domination.
Polytetrafluoroethylene to my friends.

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#4 Eric5h5

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 11:11 AM

Oh great now he's going to spam in every single topic in the forums and there's nothing we can do ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

--Eric

#5 DaveyJJ

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 10:51 AM

View Postteflon, on August 28th 2008, 11:20 AM, said:

Well finally!

Now then, lets get going with round 2 of British Imperialism and global domination.

I, for one, welcome our British Imperial overlord. At least he can start correcting people's spelling back to the correct Queen's English.

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#6 teflon

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 03:20 PM

what are you on about? its supposed to be color, aluminum and peanut butter jelly... :P :rolleyes:  

oh, and I forgot colonialism. If we'd been in charge for the last 40 years we'd all have worked towards sorting out a moonbase in time for 1999. On the downside we'd all be totally wrecked now, what with mega-earthquakes, no tides, and more difficulty in controlling were-creatures, who would go mad without the regular change to their other forms...

but hey! we'd have fulfilled the predictions of the future as laid out on a TV show!
Polytetrafluoroethylene to my friends.

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#7 Eric5h5

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 03:35 PM

View Postteflon, on August 28th 2008, 05:20 PM, said:

what are you on about? its supposed to be color, aluminum and peanut butter jelly... :P :rolleyes:

Actually, yes, it is.  That's called "evolution in action".  No need to use obsolete language and spelling--evolve or die!  (Unless you're French, of course, in which case you can't.)

--Eric

#8 charmin

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 04:39 PM

The second i in aluminium isn't obsolete - it's PRONOUNCED! "al-u-min-um" is stoopid.

More power to the Englishers!!

Also, does anyone have any apostrophes for teflon? He seems to have run out.
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#9 teflon

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 05:23 PM

View PostEric5h5, on August 28th 2008, 10:35 PM, said:

die!  (Unless you're French, of course, in which case you can't.)

Wait... What?
I could swear that thousands of them got killed during the Napoleonic (you'd probably try to abbreviate that to Napolonic if it wasn't a name) War. Of course, ever since then they've been running away and surrendering, so maybe they discovered a fountain of youth.

Anyway, you're wrong. The primary reason why there is a noticeable and distinct difference in the spelling of some words in America, compared to the rest of the world, is that Noah Webster took it upon himself to conjure up a new dialect out of thin air, instead of allow it to develop over time as the language had done in the first place. Colloquialisms and changes in spelling and pronunciation take many centuries to occur, through the use of slang, phonetic shifts due to accent and many other factors. Webster simply decided to fill his dictionary with a select few mis-spellings to make a distinction and conjure up a little more pointless patriotism.

As for the whole Month/Day/Year thing... Don't get me started. [ satire ] What exactly was it that occurred on the 9th of November? At least the London bombers had the sense to pick a date that everyone would be able to agree on [ /satire ]

Oh, and Charmin, I have no idea what you are talking about. ;)
Polytetrafluoroethylene to my friends.

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#10 Eric5h5

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Posted 28 August 2008 - 06:04 PM

View Postteflon, on August 28th 2008, 07:23 PM, said:

Webster simply decided to fill his dictionary with a select few mis-spellings to make a distinction and conjure up a little more pointless patriotism.

Go USA!  Go USA!  Rah rah, death to superfluous "u"s!  Yah boo, the Queen's English is just as silly as monarchy in the first place!  USA rocks, ha!  Go USA!  Go USA!

--Eric

#11 Lord Brixton

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Posted 29 August 2008 - 03:45 PM

Ok dudes. I'm here!

Now, who wants to hear about my new book, blog, or puppy?

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#12 the Battle Cat

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Posted 29 August 2008 - 07:10 PM

View PostLord Brixton, on August 29th 2008, 02:45 PM, said:

Ok dudes. I'm here!

Now, who wants to hear about my new book, blog, or puppy?
Are you kidding?  We want sex and violence and pie!
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#13 Eric5h5

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Posted 29 August 2008 - 09:24 PM

View Postthe Battle Cat, on August 29th 2008, 09:10 PM, said:

Are you kidding?  We want sex and violence and pie!

Actually, since we are in a hurry, we'd like to combine the above into one item: sexy, violent pie.  Thank you.

--Eric

#14 Atticus

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Posted 29 August 2008 - 11:35 PM

Is half life coming to the MAC?

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#15 teflon

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 01:55 AM

how about Pie based Violent Sex?
Polytetrafluoroethylene to my friends.

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#16 Eric5h5

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 01:35 AM

View Postteflon, on August 30th 2008, 03:55 AM, said:

how about Pie based Violent Sex?

No thanks, I'm not in the mood.

--Eric

#17 Lord Brixton

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 04:36 AM

View PostEric5h5, on August 30th 2008, 04:24 AM, said:

Actually, since we are in a hurry, we'd like to combine the above into one item: sexy, violent pie.  Thank you.

--Eric

We aim to please. Just print this out on some heavy paper, roll it up and go kill some wasps:
Posted Image

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#18 Bernie

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 06:48 AM

View Postthe Battle Cat, on August 29th 2008, 09:10 PM, said:

View PostLord Brixton, on August 29th 2008, 05:45 PM, said:

Ok dudes. I'm here!

Now, who wants to hear about my new book, blog, or puppy?
Are you kidding?  We want sex and violence and pie!
Sex book, violence blog, and puppy pie. Right? (Or did I miss another staff meeting?)

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#19 the Battle Cat

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Posted 30 August 2008 - 08:45 AM

View PostLord Brixton, on August 30th 2008, 03:36 AM, said:

We aim to please. Just print this out on some heavy paper, roll it up and go kill some wasps:
Posted Image
Well that's appropriate for Barbarian classes, but for those of you in a Ranger class, you can roll it up even tighter and use it like a blow gun to shoot peas at the wasps.
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#20 Frost

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Posted 02 September 2008 - 01:26 AM

So when do we get to the Spam Stress Test of the new mod where I troll post in every single topic in the forum and he has to clean it up before anyone sees it?
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