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Only cannibals will buy Stubbs the Zombie...


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#1 RypCzar

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 10:40 AM

you're.....you're not a cannibal..... are you?  

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#2 PeopleLikeFrank

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 11:33 AM

Alright... y'know that bit what goes "if you do the stupid things you see in a video game, then you were probably screwed up to begin with"?

Goes double for eating peoples' brains.
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#3 striderdm1

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 01:20 PM

LOL that is so true, i love articles like that!  :lol:
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#4 the Battle Cat

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 03:27 PM

I got the game yesterday but didn't have time to install it until this morning.  Meanwhile last night I had a long involved Stubbs dream where I ate some guys brain and he immediately turned around and ate my brain, making me a double zombie.  I shrank down into this little lunchbox like thing that when open revealed a small wrapped package that contained all my bodily minerals in a granulated form.  

Now this means that Stubbs the Zombie is even worse than they think it is!!  I hadn't even installed the game and already I had night fantasies not only of the horrors of cannibalism, but of ghoulish behavior where rotting corpses were being consumed with gusto.  Just by merely touching the unopened package, my mind became a wasteland of horrific, inappropriate images and behaviors including visions of my own death!  

It's not enough that they have it stamped on the box as ESRB Mature for
  • Blood and gore
  • Crude humor
  • Intense violence
  • Sexual themes
  • Strong Language
it should be marked as totally inappropriate for cats, vegetarians and Teletubbies!  They also need the box stamped on the side with a warning by the Surgeon General that consuming human brains will lead to dangerous heart clogging levels of cholesterol, unholy flatulence, and bed wetting... OK I didn't want to tell you that last part... but if only ONE CHILD COULD BE SAVED!!!
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#5 Blackshawk

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 04:33 PM

I think I agree with BC (I wasn't to sure what he was saying....). Its not like there's no warning on the box. I did predict a while back that Stubbs wouldn't sell all that great, so I guess now its time to see if I was right.
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#6 Frost

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 04:50 PM

I dunno. Love the minds behind Wideload, but Stubbs just doesn't seem to be my type of game. I might pick it up when it's cheap just to see what it's like, or try a demo. But it hasn't so far enticed me to buy it.
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When there's a multiplayer version, I'm going to be on Frost's team. Well, except he doesn't seem to actually need a team...I mean, what's the point? "Hey look, it's Frost and His Merry Gang of Useless Hangers-On!" Or something.

#7 iEvan

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 07:14 PM

Bah! Games give you the opportunity to live out things you wouldn't do in real life. I'll never pick up a gun, but I know how to lay it down in UT. I've never wondered what brains tasted like, but I'll find out tonight when I install Stubbs. If I can't separate the difference between the real world vs. the virtual world... then I must have had a poor upbringing and need to get out more.

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#8 Michael Yanovich

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 07:29 PM

Haven't read the article yet -- but I will -- but I just want to say that after playing Stubbs for a couple of hours so far, I absolutely LOVE this game. It gets a LITTLE repetitve at times, as does shooting people in UT, but there's a fair amount of variety and huge doses of laughs. Does to the horror game genre what American Werewolf in London did for horror flicks.

Really, not for kids. In fact, if you're under 17, don't even look at the box. *grin*   But the game is a total hoot!

#9 PeopleLikeFrank

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Posted 30 November 2005 - 10:10 PM

the Battle Cat, on November 30th 2005, 04:27 PM, said:

Now this means that Stubbs the Zombie is even worse than they think it is!!  I hadn't even installed the game and already I had night fantasies not only of the horrors of cannibalism, but of ghoulish behavior where rotting corpses were being consumed with gusto.  Just by merely touching the unopened package, my mind became a wasteland of horrific, inappropriate images and behaviors including visions of my own death! 

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Egad! Now even reading this thread makes me nervous! What if we all catch the zombie cannibalism from you through our computer screens! I need a new hat quick - which way does the shiny side of the tinfoil go?
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#10 Silver Samurai

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Posted 01 December 2005 - 12:00 AM

OMG Thats funny!

Odd hows its bad for Stubbs to eat brains, but Resident Evil has been eating brains for a while now but thats ok!
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#11 PeopleLikeFrank

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Posted 01 December 2005 - 02:18 AM

Silver Samurai, on December 1st 2005, 01:00 AM, said:

OMG Thats funny!

Odd hows its bad for Stubbs to eat brains, but Resident Evil has been eating brains for a while now but thats ok!

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Yeah, and every single Zombie move ever made.
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#12 the Battle Cat

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Posted 01 December 2005 - 10:31 AM

Not to mention how stunningly inappropriate and culturally insensitive that article was to cannibals everywhere.  National Geographic should be up in arms at the National Institute on Media and the Family!!

It's this same mantra that makes me crazy.  If people steal software, make everybody suffer for it rather than find and punish the thieves and make examples of THEM as a deterrent.  Even if it doesn't do much deterrence it will get thieves out of the mix.  Now we have "this is inappropriate for kids" so nobody should be able to buy the game.  It's not enough that the package is clearly marked as inappropriate for under 17 years of age and why.  No, it's not enough that there is a law against selling it to kids.  Let's give the law breakers another pass and kick the gamers in the nuts again so we can pretend we are compassionate and family friendly.

Why not deal directly with the problem instead of making everybody around them suffer.  It just chaps my hide.  And I guess that was a rant.  Do I push the "Add Reply" button or not?
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Ah hell!
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#13 Frost

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Posted 01 December 2005 - 09:16 PM

I agree. I hate the whole mentality that if something can possibly be misused in any way, you should ban it. Where the freakin' hell is the sense in that? It's the whole ban or keep a close watch on the use of hands cause they might punch somebody concept.

How about some individual responsibility for once, you stupid whiners? Don't play games if you're so irresponsible you have to act out every single little thing, no matter how bad it is. Or parents, why don't you raise your kids instead of doing whatever else you were doing while ignoring little Tommy's metamorphoses into a psychopath? And most of all, someone cap all the frivolous lawsuit loving lawyers, without whom suits against tile makers because some numbnuts couldn't read a wet floor sign wouldn't exist.

If you couldn't tell, I'm getting real sick of seeing stuff like this in the headlines at least once weekly. Enough.
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Eric5h5:
When there's a multiplayer version, I'm going to be on Frost's team. Well, except he doesn't seem to actually need a team...I mean, what's the point? "Hey look, it's Frost and His Merry Gang of Useless Hangers-On!" Or something.

#14 Skyfox

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Posted 01 December 2005 - 11:53 PM

The whole Mature problem is due to the parents. Sadly many parents just don't want to take responsibility for what their kids play.

Thats said. Mmmm, braaaaiiinnnss...

#15 flargh

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Posted 02 December 2005 - 06:57 AM

Yes, there's a ratings system in place that's supposed to inform consumers about the content inside the package. Yes, there are gentleman's agreements in place between the publishers and the retailers that are supposed to restrict access to those games by minors. And yes, under ideal circumstances, parents are all vigilant about what their kids are doing and aren't allowing such games into their homes without permission.

Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world.

The sad fact is that minors continue to have access to M-rated games; that retailers are not consistent or always vigilant with policies towards the sales of M-rated games; and parents aren't always doing their job either.

There are demagogues on either side of this debate: On the one hand we have people who don't see why anyone would want to play these sort of games and would prefer not to see them published at all. At the other extreme are people who start shrieking about free speech every time suggestions are made that maybe better safeguards should be in place.

As in most cases, the truth lies somewhere in between.
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#16 Batcat

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Posted 02 December 2005 - 08:18 AM

What Peter said.

#17 Lampeft

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Posted 02 December 2005 - 05:21 PM

the Battle Cat, on November 30th 2005, 02:27 PM, said:

it should be marked as totally inappropriate for... vegetarians....

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Well, then, dammit!, I'm not playin' it!

What we need is a good zombie game wherein the zombies take a break from the action to enjoy a good Ceasar's salad with some tasty vegetable soup!

#18 the Battle Cat

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Posted 02 December 2005 - 07:41 PM

Lampeft, on December 2nd 2005, 03:21 PM, said:

Well, then, dammit!, I'm not playin' it!

What we need is a good zombie game wherein the zombies take a break from the action to enjoy a good Ceasar's salad with some tasty vegetable soup!

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What we need is people with tofu for brains as cannon fodder in Stubbs.  The good folks from the National Institute on Media and the Family seem to fit that bill.  Maybe we could kill two birds with one stone.
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#19 Space_Pirate_Killer

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Posted 03 December 2005 - 02:30 AM

the Battle Cat, on December 2nd 2005, 06:41 PM, said:

What we need is people with tofu for brains as cannon fodder in Stubbs.  The good folks from the National Institute on Media and the Family seem to fit that bill.  Maybe we could kill two birds with one stone.

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Birds? I thought we were talking about members of the NIMF, and killing them with zombies. :blink:
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#20 benj

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Posted 03 December 2005 - 11:01 AM

I can see it now..."Mommy! Mommy! can me and Timmy go play Stubbs outside!?"
"Ok honey here's some salt and pepper, you know Timmy's brain is a little bland"
Oh the horror! :o NIMF, please save us all!
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