2723 replies to this topic

[Diablofett]

I even hear that Marathon 4 will be released on July "Pfhorth" of this year!

[Janichsan]

Diablofett, on 22 May 2012 - 06:55 AM, said:

I even hear that Marathon 4 will be released on July "Pfhorth" of this year!

This year? Not two thousand pfhorteen?

[the Battle Cat]

Kilvain, on 22 May 2012 - 03:22 AM, said:

The recon team has been deployed.

If all else fails we may have to activate our fallback plan: tBC and an MA-75B

::tBC chomps on his cigar and paces back and forth punching holes in the wall waiting for the green light::

[Diablofett]

Janichsan, on 22 May 2012 - 07:35 AM, said:

This year? Not two thousand pfhorteen?

Yes, this year! And "Pfhor" select pre-order customers will have their copies hand-delivered by people dressed as Pfhors who will also smack you over the head with their staffs as they deliver the items to you.

[Bernie]

the Battle Cat, on 22 May 2012 - 07:48 AM, said:

::tBC chomps on his cigar and paces back and forth punching holes in the wall waiting for the green light::

Son, if you keep doing that, you are going to start scaring the walls away. The walls are filled with love, rejoicing, and extra ammo. Some of that crap we need.

[Thain Esh Kelch]

Kilvain, on 22 May 2012 - 03:22 AM, said:

The recon team has been deployed.

If all else fails we may have to activate our fallback plan: tBC and an MA-75B

Fallback plan is needed since we have heard nothing.

[rampancy]

Activision is going to be publishing this, right? Does that mean that they're going to work in a plot involving Russians stealing Nuclear Weapons and some made-up unspecified Middle Eastern country with allusions to Afghanistan, Iraq/Iran and Syria?



***Incoming Transmission from Durandal***
We decided to take a detour to stop for Falafels on the way to that Rogue Planet holding an ancient Jjarro stronghold with enough technology to understand why so many people listen to Rebecca Black (oh, and S'bhuth wanted Shawarma). So that's why you're currently in Unspecified-istan. Oh, and we inadvertently jumped into an alternate timeline where Admiral Tfear led the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917, so expect to see Troopers toting AK-47s and drunk on vodka, if they're not complaining to each other about their wives.

The S'pht have made further improvements to your suit; you now have regenerating health, so you won't be needing those silly Pattern Buffers and recharge terminals anymore; we'll just throw up arbitrarily placed checkpoints instead. And we're still trying to replicate your gear, so instead of teleporting down ammo to you, we'll send down some convenient chest-high walls for you to hide behind...

Oh, and I wanted to make sure you remembered that you're reading this on a Dell™ Inspiron® computer terminal powered by the Intel Core i7 Processor™© running Windows Seven. Windows. Life Without Walls.

PS: We'd send you down your SPKNR but you'll have to pay $4.99 for the DLC for it first.
PPS: You'll notice that while you do have your Zeus, you don't have any batteries for it. To get them, you have to sign up for our Call of Marathon: Metaphysical Warfare Elite service, only on XBox 360.

[Bernie]

rampancy, on 16 June 2012 - 11:04 PM, said:

PPS: You'll notice that while you do have your Zeus, you don't have any batteries for it. To get them, you have to sign up for our Call of Marathon: Metaphysical Warfare Elite service, only on XBox 360.

If you pony up for the Ultra-GOY-Platinum Edition, you'll get a real-life battery recharger. It is guaranteed to work with batteries from all Zeus models. It works with any standard USB 5.0 port. If you order now, you can get a limited edition recharger shaped like bacon, tasting like root beer, and randomly yelling "Frog balast the vent core!" (We could not get rights to use the full phrase.)

[rampancy]

Bernie, on 17 June 2012 - 02:30 AM, said:

If you pony up for the Ultra-GOY-Platinum Edition, you'll get a real-life battery recharger. It is guaranteed to work with batteries from all Zeus models. It works with any standard USB 5.0 port. If you order now, you can get a limited edition recharger shaped like bacon, tasting like root beer, and randomly yelling "Frog balast the vent core!" (We could not get rights to use the full phrase.)

BERNIE! Thank God it's you! What are you doing here? We need you back on EDN III to surround some Akrid...

[Bernie]

rampancy, on 18 June 2012 - 08:32 PM, said:

BERNIE! Thank God it's you! What are you doing here? We need you back on EDN III to surround some Akrid...

Don't worry, I'm still there. I brought a couple of extra timelines in my pocket this go around. I found extra timelines to be more useful than my pocket black hole (even though they don't suck up the pocket lint as well as the black hole).

[Frost]

rampancy, on 16 June 2012 - 11:04 PM, said:

Activision is going to be publishing this, right? Does that mean that they're going to work in a plot involving Russians stealing Nuclear Weapons and some made-up unspecified Middle Eastern country with allusions to Afghanistan, Iraq/Iran and Syria?



***Incoming Transmission from Durandal***
We decided to take a detour to stop for Falafels on the way to that Rogue Planet holding an ancient Jjarro stronghold with enough technology to understand why so many people listen to Rebecca Black (oh, and S'bhuth wanted Shawarma). So that's why you're currently in Unspecified-istan. Oh, and we inadvertently jumped into an alternate timeline where Admiral Tfear led the Bolshevik Revolution in 1917, so expect to see Troopers toting AK-47s and drunk on vodka, if they're not complaining to each other about their wives.

The S'pht have made further improvements to your suit; you now have regenerating health, so you won't be needing those silly Pattern Buffers and recharge terminals anymore; we'll just throw up arbitrarily placed checkpoints instead. And we're still trying to replicate your gear, so instead of teleporting down ammo to you, we'll send down some convenient chest-high walls for you to hide behind...

Oh, and I wanted to make sure you remembered that you're reading this on a Dell™ Inspiron® computer terminal powered by the Intel Core i7 Processor™© running Windows Seven. Windows. Life Without Walls.

PS: We'd send you down your SPKNR but you'll have to pay $4.99 for the DLC for it first.
PPS: You'll notice that while you do have your Zeus, you don't have any batteries for it. To get them, you have to sign up for our Call of Marathon: Metaphysical Warfare Elite service, only on XBox 360.

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite post on the Forum.

[the Battle Cat]

Huh?  Bernie who?  Is that that Mexican guy who dresses like a bee?

[Bernie]

Mexican bee that dances like a guy. Your ears really need some more wax.

[the Battle Cat]

Eh?  A killer bee that pounces on a guy?  Belushi already did that.

[D-M.A.]

I guess you've already heard by now, but Marathon has been officially announced to debut... THIS SEPTEMBER!

http://www.letoilema...ces-marathon-4/

Straight from the webpage; "Apparently, mind-reading cyborg headgear is involved."

[Bernie]

D-M.A., on 02 September 2012 - 11:20 AM, said:

I guess you've already heard by now, but Marathon has been officially announced to debut... THIS SEPTEMBER!

http://www.letoilema...ces-marathon-4/

Straight from the webpage; "Apparently, mind-reading cyborg headgear is involved."

I thought Alpha Team successfully eradicated that particular M4 timeline. Time to call the braintrust to order, but I'm pretty sure that we'll need to send Beta Team to eradicate Alpha Team back where they were just kittens. I'll bring a bacon-wrapped kitten to the braintrust meeting so we can contemplate what to do with Alpha Team.

[the Battle Cat]

I fergit where the trainbust meets.  Can't we just nuke and pave that timeline from orbit?  Oh look cheese!

[D-M.A.]

I'm afraid it won't be that easy. Remember this tough guy's got his hands on mind-reading cyborg technology. He will be prepared for anything you throw at him! Also, he apparently is fast... like really really fast (that's what she said).

[the Battle Cat]

D-M.A., on 03 September 2012 - 12:53 PM, said:

(that's what she said).

Well... I certainly trust your mom.

::you wait about 20 minutes and then say::

YOUR mom.

::lather rinse repeat all day::

[D-M.A.]

the Battle Cat, on 03 September 2012 - 06:41 PM, said:

Well... I certainly trust your mom.

::you wait about 20 minutes and then say::

YOUR mom.

::lather rinse repeat all day::

Ok, was gonna make a bad joke about your mom and F'lickta... but that led me more back on topic again. I didn't realize when I was younger, but now that I'm old and more experienced (I've watched plenty of porn), I must ask... Why do they look like giant vaginas on legs

http://images2.wikia...ew2png-550x.jpg