I finally caved and ordered an UW, the LG 34GK950F-B. It's going to take a few weeks to ship though. I'll spend that time getting used to keeping my dock on the bottom, instead of the left (work) or right (home).
Shortly after I placed the order, I realized that my Harmon Kardon SoundSticks will need to stand much further apart so they don't block the screen. Problems, problems.
Thanks for the comments, everyone. Everyone was very helpful.
I wondered if it might be Lego Movie 2:
- has a theme about rebuilding
- Feral ported it to Mac already
- would be an odd choice, given the movie was 1.5 years ago
- has nothing to do with candles