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'Twas the Night after Christmas

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#1 Frost


    Secretary of Offense

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Posted 26 December 2015 - 04:00 AM

'Twas the night after Christmas, when all through the site
Not a poster was typing, not even a Snake
the Battle Cat was stuffed by the misses with hair
In hopes that his hairballs would soon bring gasps for air
The posters were nestled snug in their chairs
While dreams of Mac Games danced ‘neath their hairs
And DaveyJJ with his maple leaf and Frost with his star,
Wished each other Merry Birthmas, knowing more fun was not far
When on Frost's keyboard there arose such a clatter
After he sprung from his bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the Moderator's Window he flew like a flash
clicked Warn and Flag Spammer and a Russian's hopes were soon dashed
The monitor on his half-rested face did glow,
Brightened the sneer over another spammer laid low.
When, what to his startled eyes should appear
But an army of WoW Gold sellers, who DDoSed him and cheered.
What hairball flew by that was so fuzzy and fat
They knew in a moment it must be the Battle Cat.
More rapid than Frigidman and Tuncer he came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called the Moderators by name:
Now! Whaleman, now! Brixton, now! Tesseract and Eric,
“On! Davey, on! Frost, on! macdude and Janich!”
To the top of the page! To the top left bar!
Now ban away! Ban away! Ban away all!
As dead sprites before the RAM buffer vanish
The copper of the army’s fat pipes did tarnish
So back ‘cross the ocean the spammers flew
Each conspicuously named for a country– even the Vatican too.
And then in a twinkling, Tuncer appeared with a spark
To open the Mac Game Store with sales before dark!
As the earliest posters began to arise
Cheap Mac Games tempted them and danced ‘fore their eyes!
With Aspyr, and Feral, and Virtual Programming too
Soon hard drives were filling with gaming so true!
He laughed as he sold them in spite of Steam
But his servers were taxed and lo they did scream.
With a wink of an eye and a twist of his head
Frigidman let Tuncer know there was nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Then kicked IPB with a neat little smirk.
And laying a finger on his enter key
He deployed a quick fix for all to see.
With the servers humming and forum safe
the Battle Cat swallowed the hairballs he had used to strafe.
He sprung to his cat tree, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle!
But I heard Frost exclaim, ere he turned out his lights –
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Kestrel (Falcon NW Tiki) – 3.5 GHz i9 11900K / 32GB RAM / TITAN V 12GB / 2TB Intel 7600p, 4TB Sabrent Rocket 4 Plus, 2x480GB Intel 730 (RAID0), 14TB Seagate BarraCuda Pro
Iridium (MacBook Pro Mid-2012) – 2.7 GHz i7 3820QM / 16GB RAM / GeForce GT 650M 1GB / 4TB Samsung 860 Pro

When there's a multiplayer version, I'm going to be on Frost's team. Well, except he doesn't seem to actually need a team...I mean, what's the point? "Hey look, it's Frost and His Merry Gang of Useless Hangers-On!" Or something.

#2 dojoboy


    DJJ is the greatest!

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Posted 26 December 2015 - 07:10 AM

Too good.  :thumbsup:
"There is no end to sorrow." ---Van Gogh

#3 Frigidman™


    Eye Sea Yew

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Posted 26 December 2015 - 08:07 AM

Damn that was impressive! :first:

-Fm [1oM7]
"I'm not incorruptible, I am so corrupt nothing you can offer me is tempting." - Alfred Bester

#4 the Battle Cat

the Battle Cat

    Carnage Served Raw

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Posted 26 December 2015 - 10:29 AM

Gary Simmons
the Battle Cat