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Steve Ballmer

Member Since 27 Sep 2007
Offline Last Active Feb 05 2018 05:17 PM

Topics I've Started

Public Apology

05 February 2018 - 05:17 PM

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Inspiring YOU!

04 February 2018 - 02:06 PM

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Net Nuetrality - Can One Fake Blogger Make a Difference?

20 January 2018 - 12:08 AM

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After the Net Neutrality defeat back in December, everybody was pretty bummed-out. So much so that at my last Free Fake Steve Ballmer Rally most of the crowd seemed a bit depressed. I assured them that I would continue the fight, I was not going to surrender to the evil corporate interest which are plotting against bloggers everywhere! I even did a little of my signature yelping, jumping and dancing, nothing seemed to fire-up the crowd. They were about as depressed as I have ever seen a group of Z.U.N.E.s (Zune-Using Nerd Elites).  One of them even approached the stage, (you can get hurt like that) he asked me tearfully,
“Can One Fake Blogger Make a Difference?”
The entire room went silent in anticipation of their leader’s answer, I knew to choose my words carefully. The CNN guys in the back did a tight zoom on my face. I cleared my voice, looked the Z.U.N.E. directly in the eyes and said in the most serious tone I could muster:
“If it’s the last thing that I ever do, I shall return as CEO of all, I shall return Net Neutrality! …… I swear it on my basement Brown Zune collection!”
The crowd gasped! Shocked, they muttered, “on the Brown Zune Collection!” Slowly they started to applaud, the CNN guys went Live, The FSB-Girls started to cry and the applause reached a thunderous pitch! They started to chant,
That evening when I got home, I kicked back in the lazy-boy and thought to myself,
“Oh my goodness! I swore it on my basement Brown Zune collection?”

JOIN US! https://www.change.o...on-organization

What If Google Had Not Deleted The Fake Steve Ballmer Blog?

17 January 2018 - 02:44 AM

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Newt Gingrich has been doing a very scholarly series on Facebook answering questions like, "What if Hitler Won?" or "What if Kennedy lived?" People send him these questions which he answers weekly. The series is good but I did not go out of my way to listen to any of it.
But, he called me the other day about the Fake Blogging phenomena, it's rise and demise. His premise was fascinating:
"The importance of the satirical Fake Blogs of the mid 2000's was an important historical phenomena. It was really started by Dan Lyons who did the Fake Steve jobs Blog during that time and was wildly popular. However, many did not give his nemesis Fake Steve Ballmer due credit for his contribution to this amazing form of literature. The Ballmer blog started only a few months after the Job's blog, but only garnered a tenth of the traffic of the former. I never understood this, in that the Ballmer Blog was much more entertaining, informative and included amazing graphics. The problem seemed to be that nobody actually liked the Ballmer character and the sub-par company he defended, however the fake blog was notably better.
After only a few years, Lyons was outed and the real Steve Jobs took ill. The blog was stopped.
That is when Google went totally control-freak and decided to delete almost all of the satire blogs, but in so doing deleted the Ballmer blog. In my estimation this was a huge mistake! It demonstrated to the world just how inhuman corporations like theirs were. They could not be reasoned with, they refused to understand satire, humor, creativity or hubris. Basically, they were going to war with fun on the internet! If they had allowed the Ballmer blog to continue we today would have a much more expressive, humorous, richer internet overall. Net Neutrality certainly would have been maintained!
The only good news is that Fake Steve Ballmer has restarted blogging using the Wordpress platform. However, he is not getting the traction of the golden age, but he seems determined to bring the internet back to sanity. For all of our sakes, let's hope he succeeds!"

Congratulate Me - I'm Dr. Fake Steve Now!

09 January 2018 - 09:58 AM

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The call was unexpected! Chancellor Carol L. Folt of the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill emailed me last week:

“UNC Chapel Hill:

We the Board of Directors, Chancellor and esteemed Alumni of UNC Chapel Hill in recognition of the significant contributions to literature, humor, education and art by one Stephanos Anton Ballmerfeld aka Fake Steve Ballmer do this day confer upon said Fake Blogger an Honorary Doctorate of Letters.

Recognition of Mr. Fake’s FPB (Fake Persona Blog) has been deemed by the staff and professors at UNC as being a cultural treasure. The Chapel Hill concrete seal in front of Magnolia Hall has of this day been set before the south entry-way in memory of this most auspicious achievement. Congratulations Dr. Fake Steve Ballmer.

Honorary Doctorate of Letters Conferred by:

Dr. Carol L. Folt – Chancellor”