38 replies to this topic

[the Battle Cat]

I have an announcement for you.  After a steel cage battle royal between Moderator Sir Macdude22 and newcomer Matt Diamond, including a jousting tournament, Matt Diamond narrowly defeated Sir Macdude22 for the title.  After vanquishing Macdude22 to the dusty shelves of the IMG Forum Museum of Legends I closed the doors on his honorable service.  The battle was brutal and decisive, with lots of dented and cracked armor including bent swords and broken daggers, though no one was seriously hurt besides bruises, cuts, and a cracked rib or two.

I Knighted Matt Diamond with the flat of my +5 Epic Sword of Snicker Snack and had him arise Sir Moderator.  He did complain a little, seems I barely nicked his ear when I brought Epic Sword over his head to tap his other shoulder.  Just a scratch really.  In a spot it appears to have bled.  Like a lot.  In one spot it was rather deep but just in one place.  You know… the place where his ear used to be.  He’s fine now, except he is whining about all the tape I wound around his face to secure the bandage to the side of his head.

So, he’s in a good mood now to moderate the fur off you varmints in the forums.  He has promised me to be a brutal, cruel, and vicious tyrant that will crush you under his merciless heel.  So behold your new IMG Forum sweat shop master, Sir Moderator Matt Diamond.

BTW: i made a butt load of quatloos off the fight.  ::lights fat stogy with  a 1,000 quatloo bill::

[Atticus]

Huzzah! I look forward to being smited.

[Matt Diamond]

It is my honor and privilege etc etc.

I intend to improve every aspect of your IMG experience, in such a way that nothing whatsoever will appear to have changed! That's how achieve my stunning success: I change the game by changing nothing. If this doesn't make sense to you then maybe you should just worry about something else and leave the moderationing to the moderatingers.

p.s. If anyone finds that ear, please message me so I can tell you where to mail it.

[Camper-Hunter]

Matt Diamond, on 07 October 2020 - 02:25 PM, said:

That's how achieve my stunning success: I change the game by changing nothing. If this doesn't make sense to you then maybe you should just worry about something else

Oh it does make sense. We're used to that with politicians.

Quote

p.s. If anyone finds that ear, please message me so I can tell you where to mail it.

Would Van Gogh's ear be good enough? It might be a bit dessicated, though.

[Thain Esh Kelch]

I don't trust him. He looks suspicious. Has he always been here? I don't recall.

[Matt Diamond]

Camper-Hunter, on 08 October 2020 - 12:08 AM, said:

Would Van Gogh's ear be good enough? It might be a bit dessicated, though.

He probably walked off with mine by mistake.  Silly Vincent!

[Matt Diamond]

Thain Esh Kelch, on 08 October 2020 - 02:05 AM, said:

I don't trust him. He looks suspicious.

The fact that I inspire suspicions instead of certainties means I still have work to do.

[the Battle Cat]

Matt Diamond, on 08 October 2020 - 06:45 AM, said:

The fact that I inspire suspicions instead of certainties means I still work to do.

A spanking, a spanking!

BTW I found your ear.  It had rolled under the Admin Seat of Power, it looks as if I might have stepped on it a couple times and actually kicked it under there in all the bustle.  Tastes like it got Tree Frog Beer spilled on it too... I swear I didn't eat it!  I just licked it a little and maybe took a nibble on the helix of it.  Most of it is still here.  I'll send it to you in stasis, frozen in beer.  I'd apologize but I've instructed you never to, but instead, to double down.  I don't want to send you mixed messages of the eve of your triumphant tyrannical rule.

[jos]

Shouldn't we all start posting a massive amount of porn to test his moderating skills?

[Matt Diamond]

jos, on 08 October 2020 - 11:37 AM, said:

Shouldn't we all start posting a massive amount of porn to test his moderating skills?

I was going to respond with a joke about which hand I moderate with, BUT I DIDN'T. I stopped a bad post before it was even created! Not many moderators can pull THAT off.

[the Battle Cat]

And yet the joke somehow fought it's way out of nonexistence!  Yes!  You feel the powahh of the Farce Side.  I have trained you well young padwan. Together we will rule the forum as Cat and Hooman.

[Thain Esh Kelch]

Matt Diamond, on 08 October 2020 - 05:06 PM, said:

I was going to respond with a joke about which hand I moderate with, BUT I DIDN'T. I stopped a bad post before it was even created! Not many moderators can pull THAT off.

Knowing the moderators in here, they are already too busy pulling on something else...

[Atticus]

....someone's leg?

Oh wait....NOW I get it.

[the Battle Cat]

Thain Esh Kelch, on 09 October 2020 - 02:16 PM, said:

Knowing the moderators in here, they are already too busy pulling on something else...

Can I pick them or... Can.  I.  Pick.  Them???

Spoiler

I don't actually  pick them, they just pay me a butt load of quatloos and I sign them up.

[Tibur]

I read "there's a new moderator in town," and my brain finished that with "and his name is Reggie Hammond!"  God, I'm old.  Not sure how well that movie (48 Hours) has held up, but probably not too badly.

And congrats, Matt!

[the Battle Cat]

Atticus, on 09 October 2020 - 03:12 PM, said:

....someone's leg?

Oh wait....NOW I get it.

[the Battle Cat]

Tibur, on 11 October 2020 - 03:56 PM, said:

I read "there's a new moderator in town," and my brain finished that with "and his name is Reggie Hammond!"  God, I'm old.  Not sure how well that movie (48 Hours) has held up, but probably not too badly.

And congrats, Matt!

Good call!  This was pretty much the look on Matt's face when I offered him the dictatorship:

[Thain Esh Kelch]

I hope I am not the only one who sat through the entirety of that GIF.


Space/science is awesome.

[jos]

Thain Esh Kelch, on 12 October 2020 - 07:05 AM, said:

I hope I am not the only one who sat through the entirety of that GIF.

You're not.

[Matt Diamond]

Ditto.