79 replies to this topic

[DirtyHarry50]

Steve Ballmer, on 11 October 2017 - 07:35 PM, said:

I have 132 Billion dollars, reality is whatever I say it is!

Alrighty then. Please tell me a brand new top of the line, decked out MacBook Pro will soon be on its way to me, courtesy of one Steve Ballmer who is mindful of the strategic importance of tossing the Apple crowd a bone from time to time. There is no salvation for me. It is too late now. I cannot be assimilated, converted or otherwise moved to change my mind about what a real computer is, not even in the face of the man who holds reality in his very hands thanks to more than a few bucks in the bank or so he tells me.

Help me out here Steve. You don't mind if I call you Steve do you? After all, you probably blow more money on jockstraps annually than this would cost you and think of how good you'd feel about it. Think of how good I'd feel about it and how good that would make you feel about it and so on. It's just pure win, you know? You love winning Steve. Be a winner. PM me for my shipping address because winning isn't everything, it's the only thing! You've always been a winner Steve! Don't change now!

[the Battle Cat]

Steve Ballmer, on 11 October 2017 - 07:35 PM, said:

I have 132 Billion dollars, reality is whatever I say it is!

He does have a point there kids.  It's pretty much like a massively fat guy sitting in a row of chairs,  his chair is whatever acreage his butt says it is.  His logic is quite infallible in this matter.

ipickert55, on 11 October 2017 - 09:19 PM, said:

Can I report him Father Battle Cat?

He is already reported by another.  It's satire folks, he is probably as irritating to Microsoft fanboys as he is to Apple fanboys.  But it's good satire if you can see past the love of your platform of choice, I can't be the only guy to appreciate it.  Can I?

[Steve Ballmer]

ipickert55, on 11 October 2017 - 09:19 PM, said:

Can I report him Father Battle Cat?

I can buy this entire forum and turn it into a Windows paradise - $435 should do it

the Battle Cat, on 12 October 2017 - 01:41 PM, said:

He does have a point there kids.  It's pretty much like a massively fat guy sitting in a row of chairs,  his chair is whatever acreage his butt says it is.  His logic is quite infallible in this matter.



He is already reported by another.  It's satire folks, he is probably as irritating to Microsoft fanboys as he is to Apple fanboys.  But it's good satire if you can see past the love of your platform of choice, I can't be the only guy to appreciate it.  Can I?

no, why do you think I am #1 Fake Blogger on Earth? Thousands read my rantings. College courses on me. People worship me.

[Sneaky Snake]

the Battle Cat, on 12 October 2017 - 01:41 PM, said:

He is already reported by another.  It's satire folks, he is probably as irritating to Microsoft fanboys as he is to Apple fanboys.  But it's good satire if you can see past the love of your platform of choice, I can't be the only guy to appreciate it.  Can I?

tBC when dealing with Steve:



I think it's hilarious personally.

[ipickert55]

Maybe he'll grow on me. I'll stand down for now your holiness.

[the Battle Cat]

I will take your complaint as a second report though ipickert55.  This forum is for your enjoyment, and he does not have a get out of jail free card.

[ipickert55]

the Battle Cat, on 14 October 2017 - 09:51 AM, said:

I will take your complaint as a second report though ipickert55.  This forum is for your enjoyment, and he does not have a get out of jail free card.

Nah it's really not a big deal. I think I'll survive either way

[Steve Ballmer]

ipickert55, on 16 October 2017 - 06:58 AM, said:

Nah it's really not a big deal. I think I'll survive either way

Glad to hear that, lol, you people are soooooo sensitive

[the Battle Cat]

Steve Ballmer, on 16 October 2017 - 08:14 AM, said:

Glad to hear that, lol, you people are soooooo sensitive

 phbphb.jpeg   34.53K   14 downloads

[ipickert55]

Steve Ballmer, on 16 October 2017 - 08:14 AM, said:

Glad to hear that, lol, you people are soooooo sensitive

I mean I am the honorary special snowflake (speaking of when do i get that title?)

[the Battle Cat]

ipickert55, on 17 October 2017 - 03:27 AM, said:

I mean I am the honorary special snowflake (speaking of when do i get that title?)

According to Forum bylaws you need to assassinate Dirty Harry if you want that snowflake title.  Try wearing a "make America great again" hat and calling slurm (Harry's pronoun for "him") by the wrong pronoun and see if sporks (Harry's pronoun for "his") head explodes.  Though I suppose "Honorary Special Snowflake" is different enough... Damnit Jim, I'm a mass murdering mouser not a lawyer.

[the Battle Cat]

OK, I've solved this problem by using the slingshot maneuver around the sun to go back in time and assassinating the first admin before he could pen the bylaws.  Ironically this act launched the reality arc where I become admin.  Now it's OK to change your title to "Honorary Special Snowflake".  Thank you and you are welcome.

[ipickert55]

the Battle Cat, on 17 October 2017 - 01:44 PM, said:

OK, I've solved this problem by using the slingshot maneuver around the sun to go back in time and assassinating the first admin before he could pen the bylaws.  Ironically this act launched the reality arc where I become admin.  Now it's OK to change your title to "Honorary Special Snowflake".  Thank you and you are welcome.

Hell yes. Best admin this dimension 2k17.

[DirtyHarry50]

Steve Ballmer, on 16 October 2017 - 08:14 AM, said:

Glad to hear that, lol, you people are soooooo sensitive

I am NOT sensitive!!!

Dammit!

Don't you have some Excel spreadsheets to recalc all that money or something???

[Steve Ballmer]

DirtyHarry50, on 18 October 2017 - 05:44 AM, said:

I am NOT sensitive!!!

Dammit!

Don't you have some Excel spreadsheets to recalc all that money or something???

Sorry

[the Battle Cat]

Sorry about Harry?  No more than we are.  Why that little colon polyp stood me up 10 times in a row trying to play co-op Borderlands 2.

[DirtyHarry50]

the Battle Cat, on 09 November 2017 - 10:40 AM, said:

Sorry about Harry?  No more than we are.  Why that little colon polyp stood me up 10 times in a row trying to play co-op Borderlands 2.

I wanted to but I had issues.

[the Battle Cat]

of Playboy to thumb through.

[DirtyHarry50]

the Battle Cat, on 11 November 2017 - 11:37 AM, said:

of Playboy to thumb through.

Hey, I just like reading the informative articles that's all unlike some cats who have a thing for bunnies.

[the Battle Cat]

::70's porn music plays::

 cats-bunnies.jpg   131.52K   15 downloads